Roxas
by WriteTillTwilight
Summary: It's the Disney movie Aladdin only with a KH Twist. Roxas/Xion. COMPLETE


**Roxas**

"_Oh I come from a land  
From a faraway place  
Where the caravan camels roam  
Where they cut off your ear/ Where it's flat and immense  
If they don't like your face/ And the heat is intense  
It's barbaric, but hey- it's home!  
When the wind's at your back  
And the sun's from the west  
And the sand in the glass is right  
Come on down,  
Stop on by  
Hop a carpet and fly  
To another Arabian night!_

_Arabian nights  
Like Arabian days  
More often than not  
Are hotter than hot  
In a lot of good ways_

_Arabian nights  
'Neath Arabian moons  
A fool off his guard  
Could fall and fall hard  
Out there on the dunes."_

A Dusk sang as he rode a camel through the desert on his way to Castle Oblivion.

(A/N: I know the camera moves during this part so I'm going to actually going to write it like you are in a play, only for this part though.)

"Ah, Salaam and a good evening to you worth friend. Please, please, come closer—" You move closer to him "Too close, a little too close." You move back a bit. "There. Welcome to Castle Oblivion. City of mystery, of enchantment, and the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan, on sale today, come on down! Heh, heh. Look at this! Yes! Combination hookah and coffee maker—also makes Julienne fries. Will not break." He says as he taps it on the table "Will no—" It falls apart. "—it broke. Ooohhh! Look at this!" He pulled out some Tupperware. "I have never seen one of these intact before. This is the famous Dead Sea Tupperware. Listen." He pries it open, and makes a raspberry sound. "Ah, still good." You begin to walk a bit to the right. He hurries to catch you.

"Wait, don't go!" You stop. "I can see that you're only interested in the exceptionally rare. I think then, you would be most rewarded to consider… this." The Dusk pulls out the magic lamp out from his sleeve. "Do not be fooled by it's commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts." You walk away slower to the left. Again the Dusk rushes to catch up with you.

"This is no ordinary lamp! It once changed the course of a young man's life. A young man who liked this lamp was more than what he seemed. A nobody with a heart. Perhaps you would like to hear the tale?" The Dusk pours shiny sand from the lamp into his hand. "It begins on a dark night…" The Dusk throws the sand into the sky, where it forms a starry night scape. ", where a dark man waits, with a dark purpose.

_!i!i!i!_

Sitting on a horse is Vanitas and Ansem a parrot on his shoulder. Shadow Sora comes riding up to the pair.

"You… are late." Vanitas says.

"A thousand apologies, O patient one." Shadow Sora said.

"You have it, then?"

"I had to slit a few throats to get it." Shadow Sora pulls out half of a medallion keyblade. Vanitas reaches out for it, but Shadow Sora yanks it back. "Ah, Ah, Ahhh! The treasure!" Ansem squawks as he flies by and grabs the medallion. "Ouch!"

"Trust me, my pungent friend." Vanitas said. "You'll get what's coming to you."

"What's coming to you! Awk!" Ansem repeats. Vanitas pulls out the second half of the medallion. He connects them, and the keyblade medallion begins to glow. Finally, it flies out of Vanitas' hand, scaring the horses, and is off towards the dunes.

"Quickly, follow the trail!" All ride off, following the glowing speck of light, until it reaches a large dune. It separates into two and the halves plunge into the dune. All that remains are two glowing points of light on the dune. But then the dune begins to rise up, transforming into a giant lion's head, with the glowing points serving as the eyes.

"At last," Vanitas says, "After all my years of searching, the cave of light!"

"Awk! Cave of light!" Ansem repeats.

"By Xehanort!" Shadow Sora says.

"Now, remember! Bring me the lamp. The rest of the treasure is your, but the lamp is mine!"

Shadow Sora starts to approach the lion's mouth, which forms the entrance to the cave. He chuckles as he gose.

"Awk, the lamp! Awk, the Lamp!" Now that Ansem and Vanitas are alone, Ansem opens up in normal English. "Jeez, where'd ya dig this bozo up?" Vanitas puts his finger to his lips and shushes him. Shadow Sora reaches the cave, but is blow away by the roar of the cave's speaking.

"Who disturbs my slumber!?" The cave roars.

"It is I, Shadow Sora, a humble heartless."

"Know this. Only on may enter here. One whose worth lies far within. A nobody with a heart."

Shadow Sora looks at Vanitas with a questioning look. "What are you waiting for? Go on!" Vanitas barks. Shadow Sora hesitates, then moves one foot inside the cave. With great apprehension, he plants his foot down. Nothing happens. Relieved, he begins his trek again. Then another roar comes. He turns back, but the lion's mouth slams shut and the dune collapses back to normal. All that are left are Vanitas, Ansem, and the two separated halves of the medallion.

"Seek thee out, the nobody with a heart." The cave says.

Ansem unburied himself from the sand, coughing as he does so. "I can't believe it. I just don't believe it. We're never gonna get a hold of that stupid lamp! Just forget it. Look at this. Look at this. I'm so ticked off that I'm molting!" He flies up to Vanitas' shoulder.

"Patience, Ansem. Patience. Shadow Sora was obviously less than worthy." Vanitas says.

"Oh, there's a big surprise." Ansem says extremely sarcastically "That's an incred—I think I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from not surprised! What're we gonna do? We got a big problem here, a big prob—" Vanitas pinches his beak shut.

"Yes, we do. Only one may enter. I must find this one, this… nobody with a heart."

_!i!i!i!_

On the rooftops in Castle Oblivion, Roxas rushes up to the edge carrying a loaf of bread. He almost drops it over the edge.

"Stop, heartless! I'll have your hands for a trophy, darkness!" A Berserker guard yells.

Roxas looks backs, then down, then at the bread. "All this for a loaf of bread?" He jumps off, landing on two ropes strung between buildings, with drying clothes on them. He skies down them, collecting bits and pieces of clothing on him as he goes.

Finally, he's nearing the end of the rope, at a window, when a woman reaches out and slams the shutters closed. Roxas slams into the shutters and falls to the street, his fall being broken by numerous awnings and the pile of clothes around him.

He pulls off the top layer of clothes and is about to enjoy his bread when… "There he is!" a nobody guard says

"You won't get away so easy!" Another nobody guard said.

"You think that was easy?" Roxas asked as he looked at three women, laughing at him.

"You two, over that way, and you, with me. We'll find him." The first nobody guard said. Roxas pulls a sheet over him and wraps himself as a disguise. He rushes over to the women.

"Morning ladies." Roxas said.

"Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't we Roxas?" the first women said.

"Trouble? No way. You're only in trouble if you get caught—" A hand grabs Roxas' shoulder and yanks him back. It's the Berserker guard. "I'm in trouble!"

"… and this time-"The Berserker guard was cut off as a screeching from a monkey, then the guard's turban is pulled down over him eyes. The monkey dances on the Berserker guard's head, laughing.

"Perfect timing, Demyx!" Roxas said.

"Hello!" Demyx said.

"Come on, let's get outta here!" As Roxas runs he suddenly breaks into a song.

"_Gotta keep… one jump ahead of the breadline  
One swing ahead of the sword  
I steal only what I can't afford  
That's everything!" _

Roxas battles a nobody guard wielding a keyblade. He dodges a couple of swing, then pulls down the nobody 's pants. Demyx raspberries the nobody guard, then dodges an attack.

The nobody guard swings at Roxas, but destroys a barrel of fish. As Roxas runs off, the nobody guard pulls a fish over his lower body as a pair of pant.

"_One jump ahead of the lawmen  
That's all, and that's no joke  
These guys don't appreciate I'm broke!"_

Roxas and Demyx scamper up a pile of barrels, then kicks one down on top of another nobody guard.

One at a time a guard sings:

"_Riffraff! Darkness!  
Heartless! Take that!"_

"_Just a little snack, guys!"_

Roxas sings as he scampers to the top of a platform. The guards shake the platform back and fro trying to knock him off.

"_Rip him open, take it back guys!" _

The guards sing.

"_I can take a hint, gotta face the facts  
You're my only friend, Demyx!"_

Roxas jumps off the platform to certain death, only to grab Demyx's hands like an acrobat. The pair swing into a harem.

"_Who?!  
Oh, it's sad Roxas' hit the bottom  
He's become a one-man rise in crime" _

A women sang, as Demyx finds a plate full of fruit and stuffs his mouth full like a chipmuck.

"_I'd blame parents, except he hasn't got 'em!" _

Another women sang.

"_Gotta eat live, gotta steal to eat  
Tell you all about it when I got the time!" _

Roxas and Demyx exit. They hid behind a man flexing to a crowd matching all his moves, until they make a mistake and are discovered by the guards rushing past.

"_One jump ahead of the slowpokes  
One skip ahead of my doom  
Next time gonna use a nom de plume.  
One jump ahead of the hitman  
One hit ahead of the flock  
I think I'll take a stroll around the block."_

A chase breaks out, in which Roxas and Demyx, pursued by the guard, race through a flock of sheep, hurdle a man sleeping on a bed of nails, of course one extremely large guard lands on him.

Demyx disguises himself with jewels until a shopkeeper discovers him.

"_Stop, thief! Vandal!  
Outrage! Scandal!"_

The crowd sings.

"_Let's not be too hasty!"_

Roxas sung as he became surrounded by guards in front of a door. The door opens and a large, ugly lady comes out.

"_Still I think he's rather tasty." _

She sings as Roxas tumbles away, and then puts his arm around a guard, acting like they're all chums.

"_Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat  
Otherwise we'd get along!"_

"_WRONG!" _

The guard shouted as they all jump into a pile and fight. When they stop, Roxas and Demyx are gone. They are sneaking away in barrels. They run across a flaming pit, followed by guards who hop up and down, screaming in pain as they crss the rocks.

Roxas and Demyx pass a sword swallower, then Demyx goes back, pulls the sword out of the swallower's mouth. Demyx advances on the guards, who retreat in fear.

"He's got a sword!"

"You idiot—we've ALL got sword!"

Demyx sets the sword down gently, and then runs. Roxas and Demyx are once again surrounded, with guard coming from left and right. He jumps up and climbs a robe trick being done on the street, as the guards all crash into each other.

"_One jump ahead of the hoofbeats!"_

"_Vandal!"_

"_One hop ahead of the hump!"_

"_Darkness!"_

"_One trick ahead of disaster"_

"_Scoundrel!"_

"_They're quick—but I'm much faster"_

"_Take that!"_

The guards chase Roxas up a staircase into a room. He grabs a carpet and jumps out the window.

"_Here goes, better throw my hand in  
Wish me happy landin'  
All I gotta do is jumps!"_

The guards follow him out the window, but they go straight down to the street, and land in a pile with the sign "Crazy Highwind's Discount Fertilizer." Roxas uses the carpet as a parachute to land safely and out of danger as Roxas and Demyx high- five each other.

"And now, esteemed effendi, we feast! All right!" Roxas said as he broke the bread in two and gives half to Demyx, who begins to eat. But Roxas looks over and sees two young children rummaging through the garbage for foo. The girl sees him, then drops her find and tries to hide. Roxas looks at them, then the bread, then at Demyx.

"Uh-oh!" Demyx whined as he takes a big bite of his food, but Roxas gets up and walks over to the children. The girl pulls her brother back.

"Here, go on—take it." The children giggle with delight. Demyx tried to swallow his bite, then looks guilty. He walks over to the children and offers his bread to them. In delight, they pet him on the head.

"Ah, don't. Huh?" Demyx sees Roxas walking into the daylight, where there is a parade going on. Roxas peers over the shoulders of people. He sees Prince Riku riding on a horse.

"On his way to the Castle, I suppose." A bystander said.

"Another suitor for the Princess." Another says. Roxas is startled as the two children come running out from the alley. The boy runs out in front of the prince's horse, startling it.

"Out of my way, you heartless brat!" Riku yelled as he brings up his whip to attack the children, but Roxas jumps in front of them and catches the whip.

"Hey, if I were as rich as you, I could afford some manners." Roxas said.

"Oh—I teach you some manners!" Riku kicks Roxas into a mud puddle. The crowd laughs at him.

"Look at that, Dem. It's not every day you see a horse with two rear ends!" Riku stops and turns back to Roxas.

"You are a worthless, heartless. You were born a heartless, you'll die a heartless, and only your fleas will mourn you." Roxas rushes Riku, but the door to the castle slams shut in his face.

"I'm not worthless. And I don't have fleas. Come on, Dem. Let's go home." Roxas makes the climb to his home with the view, and then tucks in Dem for the night.

"_Riffraff, Hearless.  
I don't buy that.  
If only they'd look closer  
Would they see a poor boy? No siree.  
They's find out, there's so much more to me." _

Roxas sang as he pulled back a curtain to reveal the beautiful Castle. "Someday, Dem, things are gonna change. We'll be rich, live in a castle, and never have any problems at all."

_!i!i!i!_

In the Nobody Vexen's chamber, the doors bursts open, and Prince Riku storms in, missing the rear end of his pants.

"I've never been so insulted!"

"Oh, Prince Riku. You're not leaving so soon, are you?"

"Good luck marrying her off!"

"Oh, Xion! Xion! Xion!" Vexen goes off into the garden looking for his daughter. He finds her, but is interrupted by Saix, Xion's pet tiger, who blocks him off. Saix has a piece of the prince's undershorts in his mouth. Vexen grabs the cloth and yanks it out of Saix's mouth. "Confound it, Saix! So, this is why Prince Riku stormed out!"

"Oh father. Saix was just playing with him, weren't you Saix." Xion said as Saix came over and allowed Xion to pet and hug him. "You were just playing with that overdressed, self-absorbed Prince Riku, weren't you?" She cuddles with Saix, enjoying the moment, until she looks up at her angry father. "Ahem."

"Dearest, you've got to stop rejecting every suitor that come to call. The law says you…"

"…must be married to a prince." Both Xion and Vexen say as they walk over to a dove cage.

"By your next birthday." Vexen stated.

"The law is wrong."

"You've only got three more days!"

"Father, I hate being forced into this." She takes a dove out of the cage and pets it. "If I do marry, I want it to be for love."

"Xion, it's only this law." She hands him the dove, and he puts it back in the cage. "I'm not going to be around forever, and I just want to make sure you're taken care of, provided for."

"Try to understand. I've never done a thing on my own." She swirls her finger in the water of the pond, petting the fish. "I've never had any real friends." Saix looks up at her and growls. "Except you, Saix." Satisfied, he goes back to sleep. "I've never ever been outside the palace walls."

"But, Xion, you're a princess."

"Then maybe I don't want to be a princess." She splashes the water.

"Ooooohhh! Xehanort forbid you should have any daughters!" Vexen said as he walked away.

Saix looks up and thinks for a second. Xion goes to the dove cage and Yanks open the door. The birds fly off into freedom. She watches the, go.

_!i!i!i!_

"I don't know where she gets it from. Her mother wasn't nearly so picky." Vexen said to himself. A shadow falls over him. He looks up startled and sees Vanitas. "Ooh, oh. Ah, Vanitas—my most trusted advisor. I am in desperate need of your wisdom."

"My life is but to serve you, my lord." Vanitas says as he bows.

"It's this suitor business. Xion refuses to choose a husband . I'm at my wit's-end. "

"Awk! Wit's- end." Ansem said in his parrot voice.

"Oh, ha ha. Have a cracker, pretty polly!" He pulls a cracker out from his pocket. Ansem looks terrified. Then Vexen stuffs it in Ansem's mouth. Ansem grimaces as he tries to eat it. Vanitas and Vexen both laugh.

"Your majesty certainly has a way with dumb animals." Ansem glares at him. "Now then, perhaps I can divine a solution to this thorny problem."

"If anyone can help, it's you."

"Ah, but it would require the use of the mystic red heart."

"Uh, my ring? But it's been in the family for years."

"It is necessary to find the princess a suitor." Vanitas says the word 'Princess' with the accent on the second syllable, "cess." He turns his staff with a cobra head towards Vexen. The eyes of the staff begin to glow. The room darkens, Vanitas' voice slows down and deepens. Vexen's eyes get a hypnotized look. "Don't worry. Everything will be fine."

"Everything… will be… fine."

"The heart."

"Here, Vanitas. Whatever you need will be fine." Vexen removes his ring and hands it to Vanitas. The room returns to normal as Vanitas pulls back the staff.

"You are most gracious, my liege. Now run along and play with you little toys."

"Yes… that'll be… pretty good." Vexen said still hypnotized.

Vanitas and Ansem exit. When they're out of the room, the parrot spits out the cracker.

"I can't take it anymore! If I gotta choke down on one more of those moldy, disgusting crackers… bam! Whack!" Ansem said as Vanitas pulls a rope, which reveals a hidden entrance to his chambers.

"Calm yourself, Ansem."

"Then I'd grab him around the head. Whack! Whack!"

"Soon, I will be sultan, not that addlepated twit." Vanitas says speaking over Ansem.

"And then I stuff the crackers down his throat! Ha ha!" the pair pass through a door and slam it shut.

_!i!i!i!_

A shadowy figure walks through the Castle gardens, it turn out it's Xion in disguise. She reaches the palace walls, then begins to climb it. She is tugged from behind by Saix.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Saix. But I can't stay here and have my life lived for me. I'll miss you." She begins to climb again, and is helped up by Saix, who begins to whine and whimper. "Good bye!"

Daytime comes around and on the street Roxas and Demyx are up to their capers again. They are on top of the awning of a fruit stand.

"Okay, Dem. Go!" Roxas said as Demyx dips over the edge and looks at the Proprietor.

"Try this, your taste buds will dance and sing." The proprietor said to the crowd as Dem grabs a melon and hangs there, distracting his attention. "Hey, get your paws off that."

"Blah blah blah!"

"Why, you! Get away from her, you filthy ape!" he grabs the melon away from Demyx, but in the foreground, Roxas dips down and snatches another melon from the stand.

"Bye bye!" Demyx zings back up. The proprietor takes the melon to the front, where he places it on top of a stack. He looks confused, like he has just done this.

"Nice goin' Dem." Roxas said, "Breakfast is served." Roxas and Demyx on the roof break open the melon and eat as Xion walks through the street.

"Pretty lady, buy a pot. No finger pot in brass or silver." One shopkeeper said.

"Sugar dates, sugar dates and figs! Sugar dates and pistachios!" Another said.

"Would the lady like a necklace? A pretty necklace for a pretty lady." A third said. Xion is charmed by the action, but is startled by a fish thrust into her face.

"Fresh fish! We catch 'em, you buy'em!" a fourth on said.

"I don't think so." Xion said as she backs away, but bumps into a fire eater, who is startled into swallowing his fire. "Oh, excuse me." He gulps, and then belches fire from his mouth. Xion is disgusted. He is pleased and taps his stomach. Roxas sees her, and smiles. "I'm really very sorry."

"Wow!" Roxas said.

Xion pulls the hood of her cloak over her head. Demyx sees Roxas and jumps up on his shoulder, waving his hand in front of Roxas' face.

"Uh oh. Hello? Hello?" Demyx says.

Xion stops at the fruit stand and sees a young homeless child reaching for a piece of fruit. She picks one up and gives it to him.

"Oh, you must be hungry. Here you go." The boy then runs off.

"You better be able to pay for that." The proprietor said.

"Pay?"

"No one steals from my cart!"

"Oh, I'm sorry sir. I don't have any money."

"Heartless!"

"Please, if you let me go to the palace, I can get some from Vexen."

"Do you know what the penalty is for stealing?" He takes her hand and pins it down on the table, intending to chop it off.

"No, no please!" The sword drops, but his hand is stopped by Roxas'.

"Thank you kind sir. I'm so glad you've found her. I've been looking all over for you." Roxas said.

"What are you doing?" Xion whispered to him.

"Just play along." Roxas whispered back.

"You know this girl?" The proprietor said.

"Sadly, yes. She is my sister. She's a little crazy." He circles his finger around his ear. She is shocked. The proprietor grabs him by the jacket he is wearing.

"She said she knows Vexen!"

"She thinks the monkey is Vexen." Demyx is picking a pocket. He hears this, and then straightens up. Xion, playing along, kneels and bows to Demyx.

"Oh, wise Vexen. How may I serve you?" Xion said.

"Well, blah blah blah blah." Demyx said.

"tragic, isn't it?" Roxas says as he leans forward, picking up another apple from the cart with his foot. "But, no harm done." He walks over to Xion. "Now come along sis. Time to see the doctor."

"Oh, hello doctor. How are you?" Xion said to a nearby camel.

"No, no, no. Not that one." Roxas said as he looked to Demyx, whose pockets are bulging. "Come on, Vexen."

Demyx bows to the crowd and everything he's stolen from the cart falls out.

"Huh? What is it?" Demyx picks up what he can carry, and the trio runs off. "Come back here, you little heartless!"

_!i!i!i!_

In Vanitas' lab, Ansem is running on a gear in a bizarre contraption. At the top of the contraption is a storm brewing.

"With all due respect, " Ansem said huffing and puffing "Your rottenness, couldn't we just wait for a real storm?"

"Save your breath, Ansem." Vanitas said. "Faster!" He places Vexen's ring in the contraption.

"Yes, o mighty evil one." Ansem runs faster. A lightning bolt streaks through the ring, passing into an hourglass below. The sand begin to swirl.

"Ah, sands of time—reveal to me the one who can enter the cave." The sand in top forms the Cave of Wonders. It falls through into a storm, but it shows Roxas climbing up a ladder, followed by Xion who is covered in her cloak. "Yes, yes! There he is. My nobody with a heart!"

"That's him?!" Ansem says. "That's the clown we've been waitin' for?" Ansem loses his footing and is sucked into the gears.

"Let's have the nobody guards extend him an invitation to the castle, shall we?" Ansem goes flying past and slams into the wall upside down.

"Swell." Vanitas laughs hideously, as the sand storm keeps going with Roxas smiling in it.

_!i!i!i!_

In real life Roxas is climbing to the top of the ladder, followed by Xion.

"Almost there." Roxas said as Xion climbs over the top, but trips and falls into Roxas' arms. She then stands up.

"I want to thank you for stopping that man." She said.

"Uh, forget it." He said grabbing a pole. "So, uh, this is your first time in the marketplace, huh?"

Roxas pole vaults to the next building, leaving Xion behind.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Well, you do kinda stand out." He stares at her, still in love. She returns the look , but he relizes what he is doing, and returns to normal. "I mean, uh, you don't seem to know how dangerous Castle Oblivion can be." He lays a plank between the buildings for her to walk over, but as he is leaned down, she vaults over his head. He looks back in surprise. She tosses the pole to him. Both Roxas' and Demyx's eyes bulge.

"I'm a fast learner."

"Right. C'mon, this way." They go inside the roof of a building, dodging planks and beams as they go. "Whoa. Watch your head there. Be careful."

"Is… Is this where you live?"

"Yep. Just me and Dem. Come and go as we please."

"Fabulous."

"Well, it's not much," he pulls back the curtain and exposes the palace "But it's got a great view. Palace looks pretty amazing, huh?"

"Oh, it's wonderful."

"I wonder what it would be like to live there, to have servants and valets…"

"Oh, sure. People who tell you where to go and how to dress."

"It's better than here. Always scraping for food and ducking the guards."

"You're not free to make your own choices."

"Sometimes you feel so—"

"You're just—"

"—trapped." They said in unison. They look at each other, realizing that they're perfect for one another. But Roxas then realizes where his is, and breaks the look. He takes the appeal out of Demyx's hand and rolls it down his arm into the hand of Xion.

"So, where're you from?" Roxas asked.

"What does it matter? I ran away, and I am not going back."

"Really?" He takes a bite from the apple in his hand, then hands it to Demyx, who has a disgusted look on his face.

"Why you!" Demyx shouts as Roxas walks over and sits next to Xion.

"My father's forcing me to get married."

"That's- that's awful." Demyx appears from behind the princess and tries to steal the apple. "Dem!" Demyx races up to a high point, chattering and cursing as he goes.

"What?"

"Dem says that – uh—that's not fair."

"What?" Demyx asked, knowing that's definitely not what he said.

"Oh did he?"

"Yeah, of course."

"And does Dem have anything else to say?"

"Well, uh, he wishes there was something he could do to help."

"Oh, boy!" Demyx said.

"Hmm, tell him that's very sweet." Xion replies.

Roxas and Xion have been getting closer and closer, until Roxas leans in to kiss her. He is interrupted, however, by the nobody guards, who have found them.

"Here you are!" The same guard from early said.

Both Roxas and Xion say "They've found me!" Then they say to each other "They're after you?"

"My father must have sent them-" Xion said.

"Do you trust me?"

"What?"

"Do you trust me?" Roxas repeats as he extends his hand

"Yes." Xion said taking it.

"Then jump!" They both jump off the roof, fall and land in a pile of salt. They try to get away, but the exit is blocked by a nobody guard.

"We just keep running into each other, don't we, Nobody?" The Berserker said. Again the berserker guard's turban is pulled down by Demyx, but more guards are here and block the exit. The berserker pulls Demyx off his head and throws in a vase. And three other nobody guards grab Roxas.

"It's the dungeon for you, boy."

"Hey, get off of me!" Roxas yelps.

"Let go of him!" Xion said.

Not realizing she is the princess the berserker nobody said. "Look what we have here, men another nobody." He throws her to the ground.

Xion stands and pulls off the hood of her cloak. "Unhand him, by the order of the princess."

The guards suddenly stop and bow, forcing Roxas to bow as well.

"Princess Xion." The berserker said.

"The princess?" Roxas said. Demyx said the same as he peeked out from the vase.

"What are you doing outside the palace? And with this nobody?"

"That's not your concern. Do as I command. Release him!" Xion snapped.

"Well, I would, princess, but my orders come from Vanitas. You'll have to take it up with him." The guards drag Roxas out, bowing as they go.

"Believe me, I will." Xion said with a very pissed-off look.

_!i!i!i!_

Vanitas emerging from his secret chambers. He slides the door shut carefully, but the princess comes storming in before he is finished. He slams it shut, pinning Ansem inside the door frame.

"Vanitas?!" Xion yells.

"Oh, uh, Princess." Vanitas replies.

"Awk!" Ansem whispers. "Vanitas, I'm stuck!"

"How may I be of service to you?" Vanitas says as he spreads out his cape, hiding the door.

"The guards just took a boy from the market, on your orders." Xion replied.

"Your father's charged me with keeping peace in Castle Oblivion. The boy was a criminal."

"What was the crime?"

"I can't breathe, Vanitas!" Ansem said.

"Why, kidnapping the princess, of course."

""If you could just –" Ansem tries, but Vanitas kicks him back inside the door and slams it shut. "—wow, that hurt!"

"He didn't kidnap me!" Xion replied. "I ran away!"

Vanitas walked away as if shocked. "Oh, dear! Oh, why frightfully upsetting. Had I but known."

"What do you mean?"

"Sadly, the boy's sentence has already been carried out."

"What sentence?"

"Death." Vanitas said with a sinister tone as Xion gasps. "By beheading."

"No!" she collapses to the floor.

"I am exceedingly sorry, princess."

"How could you?" She runs from the room crying. Ansem finally make it out through the door. He flies up and lands on Vanitas' shoulder, coughing.

"So how did it go?" he asked.

"I think she took it rather well." Vanitas replied. They both get a sinister smile on their faces.

At night Xion is crying at the edge of the fountain. Saix comes over to comfort her. She pets him.

"It's all my fault, Saix. I didn't even know his name."

_!i!i!i!_

In the dungeon, a rat scurries by, as Roxas struggles in his chains attached to the wall.

"She was the princess." Roxas said to himself. "I don't believe it. I must have sounded so stupid to her."

"Yoo-hoo!" Demyx said from a distance. "Roxas? Hello!" Demyx appears at the window at the top of the dungeon.

"Dem! Down here!" Roxas shouted up. "Hey, c'mon—help me outta these."

Demyx stops, then begins chattering wildly, dropping to the ground. He wraps a cloth around hi head and makes his eyes big in an imitation of the princess.

"Hey, she was in trouble. Ah, she was worth it."

Demyx jumps up on Roxas' shoulders and pulls a small set of tools out of his pocket, the frees Roxas.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Demyx said.

"Don't worry, Dem. I'll never see her again. I'm a nobody, remember, and there's a law. She's gotta marry a prince, she deserves it."

Demyx finally frees Roxas' hands.

"Ta da!" Demyx said.

"I'm a—I'm a fool." Roxas said rubbing his wrists.

"You're only a fool if you give up, boy." An old man said sitting in the corner that neither Roxas nor Demyx have seen before.

"Who are you?" Roxas asked.

"A lowly prisoner, like yourself. But together, perhaps we can be more."

"I'm listening."

"There is a cave, boy. A cave of wonders. Filled with treasures beyond your wildest dreams. Treasure enough to impress even your princess, I'd wager." The old man turns his back, and Ansem sticks his head out of Vanitas' "old man" disguise.

"Vanitas, can ya hurry it up? I'm dyin' in here!"

"But the law says that only a prince can marry—"

"You've heard of the golden rule, haven't you boy? Whoever has the gold makes the rules." He grins, showing a hideously bad mouth.

"So why would you share all this wonderful treasure with me?"

"I need a young man with strong legs and a strong back to go in after it."

"Ah, one problem. It's out there, we're in here?"

The old man walks to a wall and pushes open a hidden exit.

"Mmm, mmm, mmm. Things aren't always what they seem. So, do we have a deal?"

Roxas looks at Demyx, who shrugs his shoulders.

"Oh, hmm." Demyx says.

_!i!i!i!_

In the desert, Roxas is leading a horse with the old man and Demyx on it. They finally reach the cave.

"Who disturbs my slumber?" The cave asked.

"It is I, Roxas." Roxas replied.

"Proceed. Touch nothing but the lamp."

The cave opens up with a roar, and a staircase appears in front of Roxas.

"Remember boy—" The old man said. "First fetch me the lamp, and then you shall have your reward."

"C'mon Dem." Roxas said to Demyx hiding under the shoulder of his jacket.

Roxas begins to descend the staircase. He reaches the bottom and enters a golden chamber filled with treasure.

"Wow!" Roxas said.

"Uh oh!" Demyx said.

"Just a handful of this stuff would make me richer than Vexen!" Demyx peeks out, see the treasure, then bolts for it. "Dem!" Demyx stops in mid run, hovering above a rug on the floor. "Don't…. touch…. Anything! We gotta find that lamp."

They begin to make their way through the room when the carpet rises off the floor and begins following them. Demyx gets the feeling they're being followed.

"Huh?" Demyx said as he turns, and Xigbar the carpet lies flat on the floor. He continues, and Xigbar begins to follow again. Again, Demyx turns back, but Xigbar is rolled up and leaning against a pile of treasure. Dem runs to Roxas and tugs his pant leg.

"Roxas!" Demyx yelled.

"Dem, will ya knock it off?" Roxas asked. Again Xigbar follows, but this time, when Dem turns, the carpet jumps to the other side. He reaches down with a tassel and pulls Demyx's tail. When Demyx jumps around, Xigbar again goes to the other side. This time, when Dem lands in a karate stance.

Xigbar reaches down and plucks Demyx's hat off, then puts it on himself. Dem sits thinking for a second, until Xigbar waves a tassel in front of his face. Dem and Xigbar both jump scared, and run away. Dem tackles Roxas and turns his head to look at Xigbar.

"Dem, what are you—crazy?" Roxas asked.

Xigbar peeks out from behind a pile of treasure.

"A magic carpet! C'mon. C'mon out. I'm not gonna hurt you."

Xigbar slowly comes out, shyly, then picks up Dem's hat and dusts it off. It flies over to Roxas and hands the hat to Demyx next to him. Demyx screeches, and jumps onto Roxas' shoulder.

"Take it easy, Dem. He's not gonna bite."

Xigbar again picks up Demyx's hat and hands it to him. Dem shakes his fist and screeches at it. Xigbar begins to walk away, "sadly."

"Hey, wait a minute. Don't go. Maybe you can help us." Roxas said as Xigbar looks back, excited. He then flies over and wraps around the pair. "Hey, whoa! You see, we're trying to find this lamp." Xigbar motions for them to follow him. "I think he knows where it is."

They pass through a long cave, until they emerge in a giant underground cavern. In the center of the room is a tall white pillar, with a staircase going up to it. It is surrounded by water with unevenly placed stones forming a bridge. At the top of the pillar is a beam of light. Roxas begins to cross the bridge.

"Wait here!" Roxas said to Demyx.

"Oh. Huh?" Demyx sees a shrine with a golden monkey. The outstretched paws hold a giant sitar. Demyx is hypnotically drawn to it. Roxas climbs the stairs quickly. Xigbar sees Demyx and grabs his tail trying in vain to hold him back. Roxas finally reaches the Magic Lamp.

"This is it?" Roxas asked. "This is what we came all the way down here to—"Roxas looks down and sees Demyx break free of Xigbar's hold and lunge toward the sitar. "Demyx-NO!"

Demyx grabs the sitar. There is a rumbling and the room begins to shake.

"INFIDELS!" The cave spoke.

"Uh oh!" Demyx squeaked.

"You have touched the forbidden treasure." Demyx places the Sitar back into the paw, but the sitar and the shrine melt into lava. "Now you will never see the light of day!"

Roxas races down the steps, but they flatten into a ramp, and he skies down until he flies into the air. The water has turned into lava. He is falling toward it, when all of a sudden Xigbar appears and catches him. Dem is standing on one of the rocks of the bridge. He looks left and right and sees a rock exploding into lava. Then Xigbar races over and Roxas grabs him, just as the last rock is exploding.

"Whoa!" Roxas said as he looked at the name sewn into Xigbar. "Uh, Xigbar, let's move!"

Together, they race back through the caves dodging the walls and falling debris. Dem grabs Roxas' head and covers his eyes.

"Dem, this is no time to panic!" He pulls Dem off his head and sees they are flying into a wall. "Stat panicking."

Xigbar goes into a dive, then through another cave. Finally, they emerge through the internal entrance. Outside, the cave begins to growl and close. Xigbar and company are almost to the top when a boulder drops on Xigbar, sending him to the floor. Roxas grabs onto the rock wall and holds on. He sees the old man at the top, within reach.

"Help me out!" Roxas yells.

"Throw me the lamp!" the old man replies.

"I can't hold on. Give me your hand."

"First give me the lamp!" Roxas reaches in and pulls out the Magic Lamp. He hands it up, and the old man rasies it above his head. "Ha ha ha ha! Yes! At last! Ha ha ha ha!"

Roxas has climbed out with the assistance of Dem. But the old man kicks aside Dem and grabs Roxas' wrist.

"What are you doing?" Roxas asked.

"Giving you your reward." Vanitas returns to his normal voice "Your eternal reward."

He pulls out a crooked dagger and is about to stab Roxas, when Dem bites him on the wrist. He screams, but lets go of Roxas, who falls into the cave. The old man throws Dem into the cave as well, they fall, Xigbar sees this, but is pinned under a boulder. He struggles to break free, and then does.

He races up and catches Roxas, but he has already hit the wall several times, and is unconscious. On the surface, the cave roars one final time, then sinks back into the sand. Vanitas pulls off his disguise.

"Heh heh heh!" Vanitas laughs. "It's mine, It's all mine! I—"Vanitas starts searching his pockets unable to find the lamp in there. "—where is it? No. NO!"

_!i!i!i!_

In Xion's bedroom, she is laying on her bed, net to Saix who looks sad. Vexen walks in.

"Xion? Oh, dearest. What's wrong?" Vexen asked.

"Vanitas… has… done something… terrible." She looks as if she's been crying.

"There, there, there, my child—we'll set it right. Now, tell me everything."

In the cave Roxas lies unconscious on Xigbar as Dem tried to wake him.

"Oh, oh. Roxas? Wake up. Roxas." Dem said as Xigbar rises up, lifting Roxas up. He awakes slowly.

"Oh, my head." Roxas said as he looks at the entrance sealed in. "We're trapped." Angry, shaking his fists at the entrance. "That two faced son-of-a-jackal!" Calmer he says "Whoever he was, he's long gone with that lamp."

"Aha!" Demyx said as he pulls out the Magic Lamp.

"Why, you hairy little thief!" Roxas cried "Looks like such a beat-up, worthless piece of junk. Hey, I think there's something written on here, but it's hard to make out." He rubs the Lamp. Suddenly smoke comes out of the hole, the lamp begins to shake and glow, but Roxas holds onto the lamp, and our wonderful friend, Axel comes out!

"Aaaaahhhhh!" Axel said. "OY! Ten-thousand years will give ya such a crick in the neck!" He hangs Roxas on a nearby. Then he pulls his head off and spins it around, yelling as he does so. Xigbar pulls Roxas down. "Whoa! Does it feel good to be outta there!" Axel uses the lamp end of himself as a microphone. "Nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi, where ya from?" He sticks the mic in Roxas' face. "What's your name?"

"Uh, Roxas." Roxas said.

"Roxas!" Axel said his name as if he's discovered something major, a neon sign lights up with Roxas' name on it, cicled by chase lights. The sign changes to reflect Axel's upcoming line. "Hello, Roxas. Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you 'Rox?' or maybe just 'Xas?' or how about 'Laddi?'"Axel disappears, then a dog wrapped in plaid jumps in. "Sounds like 'Here, boy! C'mon, Laddi!'"

Roxas shakes his head as he says "I must have hit my head harder than I thought."

"Do you smoke? Mind if I do?" Axel said still as a dog, but the dog poofs into smoke, then back to Axel. Demyx screeches wildly. "Oh, sorry Cheetah—hope I didn't singe the fur! Hey Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia! Slap me some tassel! Yo! Yeah!" Xigbar flies over and high fives Axel. Axel looks at Roxas. "Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master." He lifts his beer gut. "Either that or I'm getting bigger. Look at me from the side—do I look different to you?"

"Wait a minute! I'm—your master?"

Axel slaps a diploma in Roxas' hand and a mortarboard on his head. "That's right! He can be taught! What would you wish of me," Axel said as Arnold Schwarzenegger. "The ever impressive," Axel said inside a cube "Long contained," then as a ventriloquist with a dummy. "Often imitated," then he tosses the dummy aside. "But never duplicated—"

He multiplies into multiple Axels who surround Roxas.

"Duplicated, Duplicated, Duplicated" The duplicated Axels said.

Axel returns to one. "Genie! Of! The Lamp!" Axel said like a ring announcer at a boxing match. He then turns into Ed Sullivan "Right here direct from the lamp, right here for your enjoyment wish fulfillment. Thank youuuuu!"

"Whoa!" Roxas said. "Wish fulfillment?"

"Three wishes to be exact. And ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes." He then turns into a slot machine, arms pull down and three Axel's appear in the windows. "That's it—three." Three Axel caballeros come out of the slot. "Uno, dos, tres." He then changes into Groucho Marx. "No substitutions, exchanges or refunds." The duck drops with the secret word 'Refunds.'

"Now I know I'm dreaming." Roxas said to Dem.

"Master, I don't think you quite realize what you've got here! So why don't you just ruminate, whilst I illuminate the possibilities." Axel lights up like a fluorescent light.

"_Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves  
Scheherazadie has a thousand tales  
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeve  
You got a brand of magic never fails!" _

Axel produces 40 thieves who surround Roxas with keyblades. Axel appears in his jacket, then sticks his arms out and boxes the thieves into submission.

"_You got some power in your corner now  
Some heavy ammunition in your camp  
You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how  
See all you gotta do is rub that lamp  
And I'll say"_

A boxing ring appears, Roxas in the corner, being massaged by Axel. Then Axel turns into a pile of fireworks and explodes. The Axel appears inside the lamp and grabs Roxas' hand and rubs the lamp with it.

"_Mister Roxas sir  
What will your pleasure be?  
Let me take your order, jot it down  
You ain't never had a friend like me  
No no no!"_

Axel produces a table and chairs, and then writes down things on a note pad, like a waiter.

"_Life is your restaurant  
And I'm your maitre' d!  
C'mon whisper what it is you want  
You ain't never had a friend like me."_

Axel appears as a plate of chicken, the returns to normal, but enlarges his ear to listen to Roxas. Finally, he explodes into four duplicate Axels.

"_Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service  
You're the boss, the king, the shah!  
Say what you wish, it's yours! True dish  
How about a little more Baklava?"_

The Axels give him a shave, haircut and manicure, then Roxas appears in a comfy chair surrounded by the treasure and being fanned by women. Axel appears and fills the room with baklava.

"_Try some of column 'A'  
Try all of column 'B'  
I'm in the mood to help you dude  
You ain't never had a friend like me"_

Roxas rises up on a column of food with a giant A on top, then jumps to another column with a B on top. He falls off and is caught by a cushion held be Axel. He opens his mouth, and his tongue turns into a staircase. A miniature Axel dresses like a magician comes out.

The mini Axel does a little dance with Axel's two giant hands. At the end, they surround the mini Axel and squish him into nothing.

"_Can your friends do this?  
Do your friends do that?  
Do your friends pull this out their little hat  
Can your friends go poof!  
Well looky here  
Can your friends go Abracadabra, let 'er rip  
And make the sucker disappear?"_

Axel pulls off his head, duplicates it, then juggles them. He tosses them to Roxas who juggles with one hand and spins one of the head on his fingertip like a basketball. He tosses the heads back onto Axel, who proceeds to try and pull himself out of a hat at his base. He spirals around and around until he turns into a white rabbit. The rabbit transforms into a purple dragon (very reminiscent of Figment from EPCOT center). The dragon breathes fire, which turns into three Harem Girls, who dance around Roxas. Just as he begins to enjoy them, they disappear.

"_So don't you sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed  
I'm here to answer all you midday prayers  
You got me bona fide, certified  
You got a genie for a charf? D'affairs!  
I got a powerful urge to help you out  
So what you wish I really want to know  
You got a wish that's three miles long, no doubt  
So all you gotta do is rub like so, and oh!"_

Axel imitates what he is calling Roxas then turns into a certificate which rolls up and surrounds Roxas. Axel pulls a list out of Roxas' ear, which he uses to rub his behind like drying off after a shower.

"_Mister Roxas, sir, have a wish or two or three  
I'm on the job, you big nabob  
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend  
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend  
You ain't never… had a… friend… like… me!  
You ain't never had a friend like me!"_

The dancing Harem Girls reappear, and Roxas leans in to kiss on. She turns into Axel, who zaps four dancing elephants into existence. To the other direction, he zaps in four dancing camels, and a grand finale dancing number ensues. Dem grabs as much gold as he can, but when Axel wraps everything up in s cyclone and zaps it away until they're all back in the cave. Axel has a neon "Applause" sign on his back. Dem turns his hat over and sees that it is empty.

"So what'll it be, master?" Axel asked.

"You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want?" Roxas asked.

"Ah, almost." Axel said as William F. Buckley. "There are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quos."

"Like?" Roxas pressed.

"Ah, rule number one: I can't kill anybody." He slices his head off with his finger. "So don't ask. Rule two: I can't make anyone fall in love with anyone else." His head turns into a big pair of lips which kiss Roxas. "You little punim, there." He then lies flat, then gets up and transforms into a zombie. "Rule three: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture," he grabs Roxas and shakes him. "I don't like doing it!" He poofs back to normal. "Other than that, you got it!"

Roxas looks at Dem as if plotting. "Ah, provisos? You mean limitations? On whishes?" Roxas then turns to Dem and says "Some all-powerful genie—can't even bring people back from the dead. I don't know, Dem—he probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like we're gonna have to find a way out of here—"

They start to leave, but a big red foot stomps down in front of them.

"Excuse me?" Axel being the hot head he is, said. "Are you lookin' at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up, did you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you're walkin' out on me?" Axel get hotter and hotter to the point where his red spikes are actually on fire. "I don't think so, not right now. You're gettin' your wishes, so sit down!"

They all get on Xigbar as Axel takes form of a stewardess, with lots of arms pointing out the exits. "In case of emergency, the exits are here, here, here, here, anywhere! Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet. Weeee'rrrrrreee… outta here!" Xigbar and passengers fly out of the sand in the desert and off into the distance.

_!i!i!i!_

In Vexen's chamber, Vanitas is there with Ansem, Xion and Vexen.

"Vanitas, this is an outrage." Vexen said. "If it weren't for all your years of loyal service… From now on, you are to discuss sentencing of prisoners with me, before they are beheaded."

"I assure you," Vanitas replied. "Your highness, it won't happen again."

"Xion, Vanitas, now let's put this whole messy business behind us. Please?"

"My most abject and humblest apologies to you as well, princess." Vanitas takes her hand to kiss it, but she yanks it away.

"At least some good will come of my being forced to marry." Xion said. "When I am queen, I will have the power to get rid of you."

"That's nice." Vexen said. "All settled, then. Now, Xion, getting back to this suitor business," Vexen looks and sees Xion walking out. "Xion? Xion!" he runs after her.

"If only I had gotten that lamp!" Vanitas cries as Ansem pops out and mocks Xion.

"I will have the power to get rid of you!" He then goes back to his normal voice. "D'oh! To think—we gotta keep kissing up to that chump, and his chump daughter for the rest of our lives…"

"No, Ansem. Only until she finds a chump husband. The she'll have us banishes—or beheaded."

"Eww!" They say in unison. Then Ansem gets an idea.

"Oh! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Vanitas? What if you were the chump husband?" Vanitas looks at Ansem in insult

"What?"

"Okay, you marry the princess, all right? Then, uh, you become sultan!"

"Oh! Marry the shrew? I become sultan. The idea has merit!"

"Yes, merit! Yes! And then we drop papa-in-law and the little woman off a cliff!" Ansem then dive bombs into the floor "Kersplat!"

"Ansem, I love the way your foul little mind works!"

Both of them laugh as we go and join Xigbar and the gang in an oasis in the desert, where Xigbar is coming in for a landing.

Still as a stewardess Axel said "Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet for all your travel needs. Don't stand until the rug has come to a complete stop." Axel said as Roxas and Dem get off down the stairway formed by Xigbar. "Thank you. Good bye, good bye! Thank you! Good bye!" Axel then goes back to his normal self. "Well, now. How about that, Mr. doubting mustafa?"

"Oh," Roxas said "You sure showed me. Now about my three wishes—"

"Dost mine ears deceive me? Three? You are down by ONE, boy!"

"Ah, no—I never actually wished to get out of the cave. You did that on your own." Axel thinks for a second, then his jaw drops. He turns into a sheep.

"Well, don't I feel just sheepish? All right, you baaaad boy, but no more freebies."

"Fair deal. So, three wishes. I want them to be good." Roxas said to himself he then turns to Axel. "What would you wish for?" Axel is handing like a hammock between two trees.

"Me? No one's ever asked me that before. Well, in my case, as forget it."

"What? No, tell me." Roxas pleaded.

"Freedom."

"You're a prisoner?"

"It's all part-and-parcel, the whole genie gig." Axel then grows gigantic and his voice echoes. "Phenomenal cosmic powers!" He then shrinks down, crapped in the Magic Lamp. "Itty bitty living space."

"Axel, that's terrible." Roxas said as Axel comes out of the lamp.

"But, oh—to be free. Not have to go "Poof! What do you need! Poof! What do you need? Poof! What do you need" To be my own master, such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world! But what ami talking about, here? Let's get real here. It's not gonna happen. Axel, wake up and smell the hummus."

"Why not?"

"The only way I get outta this is if my master wishes me out." Axel said. "So you can guess how often how often that's happened."

"I'll do it. I'll set you free." While Roxas says this, Axel turns his head into Pinocchio's with a long nose.

"Uh, huh, right. Whoop!"

"No, really, I promise." Roxas said as he pushes the nose back in and Axel's head returns to normal. After I make my first two wishes, I'll use my third wish to set you free." Roxas holds out his hand.

"Well, here's hopin'." Axel said as he shakes Roxas' hand. "O.K. Let's make some magic!" Axel then turns into a magician. "So how 'bout it. What is it you want most?"

"Well, there's this girl—"

"Eehhh!" Axel said like a buzzer, and Axel's chest shows a heart with a cross through it. "Wrong! I can't make anybody fall in love, remember?"

"Oh, but Axel. She's smart and fun and…" Roxas trailed off.

"Pretty?"

"Beautiful. She's got these eyes that just… and this hair, wow and her smile."

"Ami. C'est l'amour." Axel said sitting in a Parlisian café with Demyx and Xigbar.

"But she's the princess. To even have a chance, I'd have to be a—hey, can you make me a prince?"

"Let's see her." Axel has a book in his hand called "Royal Cookbook." "Uh, chicken a'la king?" Axel pulls out a chicken with a crown on it's head. "Nope. Alaskan king crab?" He yanks out his finger, and Saix the crab from "The Blonde Merman" clamped on. "Ow, I hate it when they do that… Caesar's salad?" A dagger comes out and tried to stab him. "Et tu, Brute? Ah, to make a prince." Axel looks slyly at Roxas. "Now is that an official wish? Say the words!"

"Axel," Roxas said. "I wish for you to make me a prince!"

"All right! Woof woof woof woof!" Axel takes on square shoulders and looks like Arsenio Hall. The becomes a tailor/fashion designer. "First, that fez and jacket combo is much too third century. These patches—what are we trying to say—beggar? No! Let's work with me here." He takes Roxas' measurements, snaps his fingers and Roxas is outfitted in his prince costume. (A/N: Ven's get up in BBS, and yes with the shoulder blade.) "I like it, muy macho! Now, still needs something. What does it say to me? It says mode of transportation. Excuse me, monkey boy! Aqui, over here!" Dem tries to cover himself with Xigbar, but Axel zaps him and he flies over.

"Uh oh!" Dem said.

"Here he comes," Roxas and Axel are on a game show set, where Roxas stands behind a podium with "Rox" on it. "And what better way to make you grand entrance on the streets of Castle Oblivion, than riding your very own brand new camel! Watch out, it spits!" A door bearing Axel's head on it opens, where Dem is transformed into a camel. He spits out the side of his mouth on cue. But Axel's not sure.

"Mmm, not enough." He snaps his fingers and Dem turns into a fancy white horse. "Still not enough. Let's see. What do you need?" Axel snaps his fingers repeatedly, turning Dem into: a duck, an ostrich, a turtle, and a' 57 Cadillac, with lincese plate "Dem 1." (A/N: The car was a guess, I don't know cars, but judging by the tail fins, 'nuff said.), finally turning back to normal. "Yes! Esalalumbo, shimin dumbo! Whoa!" on the keyword of the spell, Dumbo, Dem turns into an elephant. Xigbar struggles to get out from under Dem's size 46 feet. "Talk about your trunk space, check this action out!"

Dem sees his reflection in a pool of water, then jumps into a tree. The tree naturally bends right back down to the ground, where Dem hangs on and looks at Roxas upside down.

"Ah, come on, Dem, you look good." Roxas complimented.

"He's got the outfit, he's got the elephant, but we're not through yet. Hang on to your turban, kid, cause we're gonna make you a star!"

_!i!i!i!_

In the castle Vexen is piling up toys balancing them on top of one another. He carefully balances the last piece on top, then sits back and sighs. Vanitas storms in, though, and the pile collapses.

"Sire," Vanitas said. "I have found a solution to the problem with your daughter."

"Awk! The problem with your daughter!" Ansem squawked.

"Oh, really?" Vexen asked

"Right here, "If the princess has not chosen a husband by the appointed time, then the sultan shall choose for her." Vanitas said unrolling a scroll.

"But Xion hated all those suitors!" He said as he tries to stuff a cracker into Ansem's mouth. Ansem backs away. Vexen, absentmindedly pulls the cracker back. "How could I choose someone she hates?" Ansem is relieved, but Vexen quickly stuffs a cracker in his mouth.

"Not to worry, my liege. There is more. If, in the event a suitable prince cannot be found, a princess must then be wed to...hmm...interesting."

"What? Who?"

"The royal vizier! Why, that would be...me!"

"Why, I thought the law says that only a prince can marry a princess, I'm quite sure."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, my lord." Vanitas pulls out the staff and hypnotizes Vexen with it.

"Yes...desperate measures..."

"You will order the princess to marry me."

"I...will order...the princess...to..." The spell breaks momentarily "...but you're so old!"

Vanitas holds the staff closer "The princess will marry me!"

"The princess will marry..." The spell is again broken, this time by a trumpet. "What? What is that? That music! Ha ha ha. Vanitas., you must come and see this!"

They see an advancing parade, led by what appears to be Axel in human form as a major.

"_Make way for Prince Veni!_" Marchers sing.

"_Say hey! It's Prince Veni!" _Swordsmen sing.

"_Hey, clear the way in the old bazaar,_  
_Hey you, let us through, it's a bright new star,_  
_Now come, be the first on your block to meet his eye!_  
_ Make way, here he comes,_  
_Ring bells, bang the drums_.  
_You're gonna love this guy"_

Axel sang as he mingles amongst different crowd members.

"_Prince Veni, fabulous he, Veni Ababwa!_  
_Genuflect, show some respect_  
_Down on one knee."_

Dem the elephant marches through town, with Roxas (Veni) on his back.

"_Now try your best to stay calm_  
_Brush up your Sunday Salaam_  
_And come and meet his spectacular coterie_."

Ansem is dancing to the music until Vanitas glares at him. Axel "wheelbarrows" six men up onto Dem's trunk. They stand on each other's shoulders as Veni shakes hands.

"_Prince Veni, mighty is he, Veni Ababwa!  
Strong as ten regular men, definitely_  
_He faced the galloping hordes_  
_ A hundred bad guys with swords_  
_Who sent those goons to their lords, why Prince Veni!"_

The pile collapses on Veni, but Axel (tm) brand lightning bolt zaps the pile and he ends up holding them all up in an acrobatic wheel formation. Axel turns into an old man, then a child and speaks the last two lines to the crowd.

"_He's got seventy-five golden camels_!" A chorus of men sings carrying the camels.

In pops a typical parade commentator.

"Don't they look lovely, Kairi?" Axel said as a man.

"_Purple peacocks, he's got fifty-three!"_ A chorus of women sings who are on the float.

In comes another commentator.

"Fabulous, Sora, I love the feathers!" Axel said as Kairi.

A giant balloon gorilla proceeds down the parade.

"_When it comes to exotic type mammals_  
_Has he got a zoo, I'm telling you  
It's a world class menagerie!"_

Axel pops in as a leopard, then a goat, and speaks the last two lines to the two children from earlier. We cut to a balcony, where three Harem girls are joined by the Harem Axel.

"_Prince Veni, Handsome is he, Veni Ababwa_

_There's no question this Veni's alluring_

_That physique, how can I speak_

_Never ordinary, never boring_

_Weak at the knee_

_Everything about the man just plain impresses_

_Well, get on out in that square_

_He's a wonder, he's a whiz, a wonder_

_Adjust your veil and prepare_

_He's about to pull my heart asunder_

_To gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Veni!_

_And I absolutely love the way he dresses!"_

Axel sings and the girl's counterpart.

Xion has been watching from the balcony of the palace. She humphs it off, then leaves.

"_He's got ninety-five white Persian monkeys!  
(He's got the monkeys, let's see the monkeys!)  
And to view them, he charges no fee!  
(He's generous, so generous)  
He's got slaves, he's got servants and flunkies!  
(Proud to work for him)  
They bow to his whim, love serving him  
They're just lousy with loyalty to Veni! Prince Veni_!"

The choruses sing.

Roxas throws gold coins out to the people, who rush over to collect them. Dem and the parade march up the steps of the palace and inside. Vexen runs back inside to the door to the throne room, but Vanitas stands in front of the door. Suddenly, it bursts open, with Dem leading the way, and crushing Vanitas and Ansem behind the door.

"_Prince Veni!  
Amorous he! Veni Ababwa  
Heard your princess was a sight lovely to see!  
And that,good people, is why  
He got dolled up and dropped by  
With sixty elephants, llamas galore  
With his bears and lions  
A brass band and more  
With his forty fakirs, his cooks, his bakers.  
His birds that warble on key  
Make way for Prince Veni_!"

More and more fanfare build up until Roxas flies off Dem's back on Xigbar and flies down Vexen. Vanitas slams the door shut.

"Splendid, absolutely marvelous." Vexen said while clapping.

"Ahem. Your majesty, I have journeyed from afar to seek your daughter's hand." Roxas said taking on a deeper voice.

"Prince Veni Ababwa! Of course. I'm delighted to meet you." Vexen said as he rushes over and shakes Veni's hand.

"Please." Roxas said. "Just call me Ven."

"Of course, Prince Ven. This is my royal vizier, Vanitas. He's delighted too."

"Ecstatic. I'm afraid, Prince Abooboo—" Vanitas said extremely dryly.

"-Ababwa!" Roxas corrected.

"Whatever. You cannot just parade in here uninvited and expect to—"

"...by Allah, this is quite a remarkable device." Vexen tugs at the tassels, and they tug his moustache. "I don't suppose I might..."

"Why certainly, your majesty. Allow me." Roxas said as he helps Vexen up onto Xigbar, and he plops down. Vanitas pins Xigbar down on the floor with the staff.

"Sire, I must advise against this—"

"-Oh, button up, Vanitas. Learn to have a little fun." He kicks away the staff and Xigbar and Vexen fly away. Ansem, who was standing on the head of the staff, falls down, repeatedly bopping the staff with his beak as he descends. Vexen and Xigbar fly high into the ceiling, then begin a dive-bomb attack, flying under Dem, scaring him. The flight continues in the background, while Vanitas and Veni talk in the foreground.

"Just where did you say you were from?"

"Oh, much farther than you've traveled, I'm sure." Roxas replied as he smiles. Vanitas does not.

"Try me." Ansem lands on the staff.

"Look out, Polly!" Vexen shouted as they all duck in time as the Xigbar whizzes centimetres over their heads. Xigbar returns and Vexen chases Ansem around the room.

"Hey, watch it. Watch it with the dumb rug!" Ansem said

Xigbar zooms underneath Ansem, who sighs, wipes his brow, and crashes into a pillar. He crashes to the floor, and his head is circled by miniature Vexens on Xigbar, saying "Have a cracker, have a cracker." The real Vexen begins his final approach.

"Out of the way, I'm coming in to land. Vanitas, watch this!" Vexen said as he lands.

"Spectacular, your highness."

"Ooh, lovely. Yes, I do seem to have a knack for it." Xigbar walks over to Dem dizzily, then collapses. Dem catches him. "This is a very impressive youth. And a prince as well." Vexen then whispers to Vanitas "If we're lucky, you won't have to marry Xion after all."

"I don't trust him, sire."

"Nonsense. One thing I pride myself on Vanitas, I'm an excellent judge of character."

"Oh, excellent judge, yeah, sure...not!" Ansem said.

Xion walks in quietly, listening into the conversation.

"Xion will like this one!"

"And I'm pretty sure I'll like Princess Xion!" Roxas said

"Your highness, no. I must intercede on Xion's behalf." Vanitas said. Xion hears this and gets mad. "This boy is no different than the others. What makes him think he is worthy of the princess?"

"Your majesty, I am Prince Ven Ababwa!" Roxas said as he pricks Vanitas' goatee, which springs out in all directions. "Just let her meet me. I will win your daughter!"

"How dare you!" Xion snapped as they all look at her surprised. "All of you, standing around deciding my future? I am not a prize to be won!" She then storms out.

"Oh, dear. Don't worry, Prince Ven. Just give Xion time to cool down." Vexen said as he and Roxas exit.

"I think it's time to say good bye to Prince Abooboo."

_!i!i!i!_

Xion is on her balcony at night. Down below Roxas and company are in the courtyard.

"What am I going to do?" Roxas asked. "Xion won't even let me talk to her. I should have known I couldn't pull off this stupid prince wish."

Dem struggles with his elephant paws to open a banana. He squishes it, and the banana squirts into his eye. He then tosses the banana peel into a heaping pile of the same.

"So move!" Axel said to Xigbar, playing chest with the carpet. Xigbar does, knocking a black piece off the board. "Hey. That's a good move." Axel then says "I can't believe it—I'm losing to a rug." as Rodney Dangerfield.

"Axel, I need help." Roxas said.

"All right, sparky, here's the deal. You wanna court the little lady, you gotta be a straight shooter, do ya follow me?" Axel said as Jack Nicholson.

"What?"

Axel turns back to normal, wearing a mortarboard. He points out his words on a blackboard. "Tell her the...TRUTH!"

"No way! If Jasmine found out I was really some crummy street rat, she'd laugh at me." Roxas said as he puts on his turban, which lights up as Axel.

"A woman appreciates a man who can make her laugh!" Roxas pulls the chain turning off the light. Axel comes out holding the real turban. "Rox, all joking aside, you really oughtta be yourself."

"Hey, that's the last thing I want to be. Okay. I'm gonna go see her. I gotta be smooth, cool, confident. How do I look?"

"Like a prince." Axel said sadly.

Roxas flies up to the balcony on Xigbar. Xion is on her bed, sighing. Saix is by her side.

"Princess Xion?" Roxas said from a distance.

Saix looks up and growls.

"Who's there?" Xion asked

"It's me-Prince Ven. Ahem—" Roxas, then jumps to his deep voice. "Prince Veni Ababwa."

"I do not want to see you."

"No, no, please princess. Give me a chance." Saix growls and advances on him.

"Just leave me alone."

"Down kitty!"

Over the edge of the balcony, Xigbar is watching with Axel below.

"How's our beau doing?" Axel asked

Xigbar cuts his neck with his finger.

"Good kitty, take off. Down kitty." Roxas takes off his turban to brush Saix away.

Xion looks at him thinking she has seen him before. "Wait, wait. Do I know you?"

"Uh, no, no." Roxas said quickly replacing his turban.

"You remind me of someone I met in the marketplace."

"The marketplace?" A bee buzzes around his head.

"I have servants that go to the marketplace for me. Why I even have servants who go to the marketplace for my servants, so it couldn't have been me you met."

"No, I guess not." Xion said looking disappointed.

"Enough about you, Casanova. Talk about her! She's smart, fun, the hair, the eyes. Anything-pick a feature!" Axel the bee said.

"Um, Princess Xion? You're very..."

"Wonderful, glorious, magnificent, punctual!"

"Punctual!"

"Punctual?" Xion asked.

"Sorry." Axel said.

"Beautiful." Roxas recovered.

"Nice recovery."

"Hmm. I'm rich too, you know." Xion said.

"Yeah!" Roxas replied.

"The daughter of a sultan"

"I know."

"A fine prize for any prince to marry."

"Uh, right. Right. A prince like me."

"Warning! Warning!" Axel said buzzing in Roxas' ear.

"Right, a prince like you. And every other stuffed shirt, swaggering, peacock I've met!" Xion snapped.

"Mayday! Mayday!" Axel said as he rear end was on fire, he was wearing goggles and was crashing.

"Just go jump off a balcony!" Xion said as she turns and walks away.

"What?" Roxas asked.

"Stop her! Stop her! Do you want me to sting her?" Axel asked.

"Buzz off!" Roxas said swatting at Axel.

"Okay, fine. But remember-bee yourself!" The bee buzzes into his turban.

"Yeah, right!"

"What!?" Xion snapped.

"Uh, you're right. You aren't just some prize to be won." Roxas looks disappointed. "You should be free to make your own choice." Xion and Saix look at each other in confusion. "I'll go now." He steps up on the ledge and drops off.

"No!" Xion screamed.

"What? What?" Roxas asked as he pokes his head from the edge.

"How-how are you doing that?" Xion said now amazed. She looks over the edge and sees Xigbar.

"It's a magic carpet."

"It's lovely." Xigbar takes Xion's hand with a tassel.

"You, uh, you don't want to go for a ride, do you? We could get out of the palace, see the world."

"Is it safe?"

"Sure. Do you trust me?"

She looks at him at the saying of that all-important line. "What?"

"Do you trust me?" Roxas asked as his extends his hand the same as before.

She gets a sly grin on her face, and replies "Yes." She takes his hand and gets up on Xigbar. He zooms into the sky, knocking them both into sitting positions. Xion looks back and sees RAJAH looking up at her questioningly. She gasps as they fly over the palace wall and into the sky.

"_I can show you the world_  
_Shining, shimmering, splendid.  
Tell me princess, now when did you last_  
_Let your heart decide?"_

Roxas sang as Xigbar zooms down through the town, stopping slightly to pick a flower. It gives the flower to Roxas, who gives it to Xion. She smiles.

"_I can open your eyes  
Take you wonder by wonder  
Over, sideways, and under  
On a magic carpet ride"_

Xigbar does as Roxas sings, then zooms into the clouds.

"_A whole new world!  
A new fantastic point of view  
No one to tell us no  
Or where to go  
Or say we're only dreaming_"

Xion looks back and watches Castle Oblivion disappear from sight. Xigbar flies in and out of the clouds.

"_**A whole new world  
A dazzling place I never knew  
But when I'm way up here  
It's crystal clear  
That now I'm in a whole new world with you!**__"_

Xion sung.

"_Now I'm in a whole new world with you!"_

Roxas sung.

They each catch a small cloud as Xigbar continues the flight. He then circles a pillar of clouds, giving a swirly look to it.

"_**Unbelievable sights  
Indescribable feeling  
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling  
Through an endless diamond sky**__"_

Xion sung as they join a flock of birds in the sky. One of them looks terrified and squawks. Xigbar does somersaults and flips, at times putting Roxas and Xion in free-fall, but catching them. They then zoom above the clouds where a starry night awaits them.

"_**A whole new world**_**!**"

"_Don't you dare close your eyes"_

"_**An hundred thousand things to see**__"_

"_Hold your breath-it gets better!"_

"_**I'm like a shooting star,  
I've come so far  
I can't go back to where I used to be**__!"_

They zoom down over a river, apparently the Nile, for beyond the ship's sails are the Great Pyramids. They wave at a worker sculpting the complete nose of the Sphinx. He smiles, but chisels too much and breaks off the front section of the nose.

"_A whole new world!"_

"_**Every turn a surprise**__"_

"_With new horizons to pursue"_

"_**Every moment, red-letter**__"_

They fly alongside wild horses running. Xion pets one of them.

"I'll chase them anywhere  
There's time to spare  
Let me share this whole new world with you  
A whole new world  
That's where we'll be_"_

They sang as they fly through Greece, where Roxas grabs an apple from a tree and rolls it down his arm to Xion, who is now sure she is dealing with Roxas, not Prince Ven.

"_A thrilling chase"_

"_**A wondrous place**_"

"For you and me!"

Xigbar hovers along over a lake, and they see the reflection of the moon in the lake. Fireworks burst and we see the couple at a Chinese New Year celebration, sitting on a rooftop.

"It's all so magical." Xion said.

"Yeah." Roxas said.

She looks at him and decides to burst the bubble. "It's a shame Dem had to miss this."

"Nah. He hates fireworks." Xigbar looks up realizing what is happening. "He doesn't really like flying either." And now Roxas realizes it. "That is...oh no!"

She pulls off his turban. "You are the boy from the market! I knew it. Why did you lie to me?"

"Xion, I'm sorry."

"Did you think I was stupid?"

"No!"

"That I wouldn't figure it out?"

"No. I mean, I hoped you wouldn't. No, that's not what I meant."

"Who are you? Tell me the truth!"

"The truth?" He looks at Xigbar who waved him on, giving up hope. "The truth...the truth is...I sometimes dress as a commoner to escape the pressures of palace life." Xigbar slumps down in defeat. "But I really am a prince!" The feather on his turban falls down over his eyes.

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Well, you know, um...royalty going out into the city in disguise, it sounds a little strange, don't you think?"

"Not that strange." She flicks up the feather and cuddles with him. Xigbar puts a tassel under his "chin" and looks mystified. Later, Roxas and Xion returned. Xigbar forms a set of steps and she descends. Roxas then descends just below the balcony.

"Good night, my handsome prince." Xion said.

"Sleep well, princess." Roxas replied.

They slowly lean forward to kiss, but Xigbar bumps him up and they kiss sooner than expected. She walks away slowly then turns and looks at him. Finally she enters her room through the curtain.

"Yes!" Roxas said as he falls back onto Xigbar, who descends to the ground. "For the first time in my life, things are starting to go right." He looks up at Xion's balcony, and four sets of hands grab him. "Hey! What?" A gag is tied around his mouth.

"Hold him!" A guard yells. Shackles are placed on his feet and his hands. Another Guard ties Xigbar in a knot around a tree.

"I'm afraid you've worn out your welcome, Prince Abooboo." Vanitas said as he walks away. "Make sure he's never found." A Guard hits Roxas in the head, and he falls unconscious. The guards laugh as Roxas' body drops into the water. He is conscious now, but his feet are tied to a rock. The rock hits the sea bottom, then the turban lands and the lamp tumbles out. He sees this and struggles to rub the lamp. However, he loses consciousness and falls to the floor. The lamp, unsettled by his movement, rolls down and rubs against his hands. It shakes, and Axel emerges with a bath brush, rubber duckie, and shower cap.

"Never fails. Get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp." Axel said as he squeaks the duck "Hello." He sees unconscious Roxas. "Rox? Rox! Kid, snap out of it! You can't cheat on this one! I can't help you unless you make a wish. You have to say "Genie I want you to save my life." Got it? Okay. C'mon Roxas!" He grabs Roxas by the shoulders and shakes him. His head goes up, then falls. "I'll take that as a yes." He's head turns into a siren."Wooga! Wooga!" He turns into a submarine. "Up scope!" He babbles in something that sounds like German. On the surface, a giant water spout emerges, and lands on top of the cliff. Roxas reawakes and coughs the water out of his lungs. "Don't you scare me like that!"

"Axel, I-uh, I-uh..." He can't think of how to say it, so they just hug each other. "Thanks, Axel.

"Oh, Rox. I'm gettin' kind of fond of you, kid. Not that I want to pick out curtains or anything."

Xion is in her room, humming "A Whole New World" and brushing her hair. Vexen appears in one of the double doors, hypnotized.

"Xion!" Vexen said.

"Oh, father-I just had the most wonderful time. I'm so happy." Xion replied.

Still monotone from the hypnosis, Vexen says" You should be, Xion. I have chosen a husband for you."

"What?"

The other door opens and reveals Vanitas. "You will wed Vanitas." Xion gasps at the sight of him.

"You're speechless, I see. A fine quality in a wife." Vanitas says

"I will never marry you." She goes to Vexen. "Father, I choose Prince Ven!"

"Prince Ven left!"

Roxas is standing in the doorway to the balcony and says "Better check your crystal ball again. Vanitas!"

"Prince Ven!" Xion says as Vanitas gasps at the sight of Roxas.

"How in the he—"Ansem starts but then goes back to parrot-ese. "-uh, awk!"

"Tell them the truth, Vanitas! You tried to have me killed." Roxas said.

"What?" He goes to Vexen. "Ridiculous nonsense, your highness. He is obviously lying." He brings the staff close to the Vexen's face.

"Obviously...lying." Vexen said. Roxas sees the staff with its glowing eyes.

"Father, what's wrong with you?" Xion asked.

"I know!" Roxas said as he grabs the staff and smashes it on the floor. Vanitas flinches and the spell is broken for good.

"Oh, oh, oh my!" Vexen said.

"Your highness, Vanitas' been controlling you with this!" He advances the staff.

"What? Vanitas? You, you traitor!" Vexen said as the trio advances on Vanitas.

"Your majesty, all of this can be explained." Vanitas said.

"Guards! Guards!"

"Well, that's it-we're dead, forget about it. Just dig a grave for both of us. We're dead." Ansem says, but Vanitas sees the lamp in Roxas' pocket. He makes a move, but is grabbed by guards.

"Arrest Vanitas at once." Vexen said.

"This is not done yet, boy!" Vanitas said as he pulls a vial from his pocket. Roxas sees this and rushes him, but Vanitas throws the vial to the floor. A large red cloud appears. When it is gone, so is Vanitas.

"Find him, search everywhere!"

"Xion, are you all right?" Roxas asked.

"Yes." Xion replied as they lean in to kiss, but Vexen barges between them.

"Vanitas, my most trusted counselor, plotting against me all this time. Just horrible. How will I ever-"He stops in mid sentence and looks at the pair. "Can it be true? My daughter has finally chosen a suitor?" She nods. "Ha ha! Praise Allah! You brilliant boy, I could kiss you! I won't-I'll leave that to my-. You two will be wed at once! Yes, yes. And you'll be happy and prosperous, and then my boy, you will be sultan!"

"Sultan?" Roxas asked.

"Yes, a fine upstanding youth like yourself, a person of your unimpeachable moral character is exactly what this kingdom needs!" Roxas looks concerned at this.

_!i!i!i!_

"We gotta get outta here! We gotta get- I gotta start packing, your highness. Only essentials." Ansem starts throwing things out of his cage. Vanitas smiles broadly. "Travel light! Bring the guns, the weapons, the knives" He stops and takes out a picture of himself and Vanitas. "and how about this picture? I don't know-I think I'm making a weird face in it." Vanitas starts to laugh wildly. "Oh, boy-he's gone nuts. He's cracked." Ansem flies down to him and knocks on his head. "Vanitas? Vanitas? Get a grip, Vanitas!" Vanitas grabs him around the neck. "Good grip!"

"Prince Ven is nothing more than that ragged urchin Roxas. He has the lamp, Ansem."

"Why that miserable—"

"But you are going to relieve him of it!"

"Me?"

_!i!i!i!_

"Sultan? They want me to be sultan?" Roxas said as he looks over the castle gardens. Axel comes out of the lamp.

"Huzzah! Hail the conquering hero!" He says as he turns into a one-man band. He sees Roxas walk away with his head hung. He stops, scratches his head, comes up with an idea, then zooms over to Roxas. He holds up his hands like a director scoping a picture and we look through them. "Roxas, you've just won the heart of the princess. What are you gonna do next?" Roxas looks at him, then walks away in sadness to the bed, where he falls on it and sighs. Axel again is confused, then goes to him and pulls out a script labeled "Aladdin. Whispering: "Psst, your line is "I'm going to free the genie."

"Axel...I can't."

"Sure you can. You just go "Genie, I wish you free." He grabs Roxas' head and uses him as a mock ventriloquist's dummy. Roxas pulls away.

"I'm serious. Look, I'm sorry-I really am. But they want to make me sultan-no!, They want to make Prince Ven sultan. Without you, I'm just Roxas

"Rox, you won!"

"Because of you! The only reason anyone thinks I'm anything is because of you. What if they find out I'm not really a prince?" Roxas says "What if Xion finds out? I'll lose her." Quietly. Then he talks at his normal volume again. "Ax, I can't keep this up on my own. I can't wish you free."

"Hey, I understand." Axel says sarcastically. "After all, you've lied to everyone else. Hey, I was beginning to feel left out. Now, if you'll excuse me, master." He says the last word in disgust, then poofs back into the lamp. Dem and Xigbar are watching from the window.

"Ohhh." Dem says.

"Axel, I'm really sorry." Roxas says as a tongue comes out of the spout and raspberries him. "Well, fine." He slams a pillow on top of the lamp. "Then just stay in there!" He looks at Dem and Xigbar. "What are you guys looking at?" They both leave. "Look, I-I'm sorry. Wait, Dem- wait-I'm sorry, I didn't- wait, c'mon." He sighs. "What am I doing? Axel's right-I gotta tell Jasmine the truth."

"Ven, oh Ven-will you come here?" Xion calls from a distance.

"Well, here goes." Roxas said putting on his turban. He walks into the garden. "Xion? Where are you?"

Ansem is wearing a beak and standing on stilts next to a flamingo in the pond. He is imitating Xion's voice. "Ahem-In the menagerie, hurry."

"I'm coming." Roxas hurry past, not noticing the birds. Ansem laughs, then turns back and looks into the face of a Flamingo, who is panting.

"D'uh!" The Flamingo says.

"Ya got a problem, pinky?" Ansem said as he sweeps the bird's feet out from under it. Ansem runs into the palace and finds the lamp under the pillow. "Boy, Vanitas' gonna be happy to see you!" He stretches his face like Vanitas' and imitates it. "Good work, Ansem!" he goes back to normal. "Ah, go on." Then he goes back to Vanitas. "No, really-on a scale of one to ten, you are an eleven!" he goes to normal again. "Ah, Vanitas-you're too kind. I'm embarrassed, I'm blushing." He flies away with the lamp.

At the palace entrance. Vexen is standing on top, making an announcement to the people.

"People of Castle Oblivion, My daughter has finally chosen a suitor!" Vexen announces.

Behind a curtain, Xion is peeking through. Roxas appears at the bottom of the stairs.

"Xion?" He asked.

"Ven, where have you been?"

"There's something I've got to tell you."

"The whole kingdom has turned out for father's announcement!"

"No! But Xion, listen to me, please!"

"Good luck!" She pushes him out onto the platform with Vexen, where he overlooks the entire crowd.

"...Veni Ababwa!" Vexen shouts.

"Oh, boy!" Roxas said.

Far above, Ansem and Vanitas watch through a window.

"Look at them, cheering that little pipsqueak." Ansem said.

"Let them cheer." Vanitas said as he lifts the lamp and rubs it. Axel comes out.

"You know Rox, I'm getting." He turns and sees Vanitas. "reallyyyyyy-I don't think you're him." He descends and consults a playbill. "Tonight, the role of Rox will be played by a tall, dark and sinister ugly man."

"I am your master now." Vanitas said as he throws Axel to the ground and puts his foot on Axel's face.

"I was afraid of that."

"Genie, grant me my first wish. I wish to rule on high, as sultan!"

_!i!i!i!_

There are dark clouds circling the castle. The castle shakes. The roof rips off and Vexen and Roxas duck.

"Whoa!" Roxas said.

"Bless my soul. What is this? What is going on?" Vexen asked as his turban lifts off his head. When he grabs it, his whole body flies up, then is stripped of all his clothing except his boxer shorts. The clothing reappears on Vanitas.

"Heh heh heh!" Vanitas laughs.

"Vanitas, you vile betrayer."

"That's Sultan Vile Betrayer to you." Ansem says.

"Oh, yeah? Well, we'll just see about that!" Roxas said as he pulls off his own turban, but finds it empty. "The lamp!"

"Finders-keepers, Abooboo." Vanitas said as they both look up and see a gigantic Axel lift the palace into the clouds.. Roxas whistles and Xigbar flies up to greet him. They fly up near Axel's head.

"Axel! No!"

"Sorry, kid-I got a new master now." He places the palace on top of a mountain.

"Vanitas, I order you to stop!" Vexen said.

"There's a new order now-my order! Finally, you will bow to me!" Vanitas said as Vexen bows, but Xion does not.

"We'll never bow to you!" She said.

"Why am I not surprised?" Ansem said.

"If you will not bow before a sultan, then you will cower before a sorcerer!" Vanitas said. "Genie, my second wish-I wish to be the most powerful sorcerer in the world!"

Axel extends his finger. Roxas tries to stop him, but he cannot, and another lightning bolt strikes Vanitas, returning him to his normal look.

"Ladies and gentlemen, a warm Castle Oblivion welcome for Sorcerer Vanitas!" Ansem said.

"Now where were we? Ah, yes-abject humiliation!" Vanitas said as he zaps Xion and Vexen with his staff, and they both bow to him. Saix comes running at him. He zaps Saix, and the tiger turns into a kitty-cat. "Down, boy! Oh, princess—" he lifts her chin with his staff "-there's someone I'm dying to introduce you to."

"Vanitas! Get your hands off her!" Roxas said as Vanitas zaps him. Xigbar flies away.

"Prince Veni. Yes, it is he, But not as you know him. Read my lips and come to grips With reality." Vanitas said as he brings Xion and Roxas closer to each other in the air. "Yes, meet a blast from your past. Whose lies were too good to last Say hello to your precious Prince Veni!"

Vanitas zaps Veni back to Roxas.

"Or should we say Roxas?" Ansem asked.

"Xion, I tried to tell you." Roxas said.

"So Veni turns out to be merely Roxas. Just a con, need I go on? Take it from me His personality flaws Give me adequate cause To send him packing on a one-way trip So his prospects take a terminal dip His assets frozen, the venue chosen Is the ends of the earth, whoopee! So long," Vanitas said.

"Good bye, see ya!" Ansem says.

"Ex-Prince Veni!" Vanitas said.

Vanitas has zapped Dem back to normal. He sends the two of them into a tall pillar, then launches it like a rocket, but not before Xigbar can get in. and then they are shipped to a snowy wasteland, where the pillar crashes and rolls. It finally comes to a stop. Roxas emerges, obviously very cold.

"Dem? Demyx!" He looks back at a shivering pile of snow. "Oh, this is all my fault-I should have freed the genie when I had the chance." He digs out Dem and cradles him inside his vest. "Dem! Are you okay? I'm sorry, Dem-I made a mess of everything, somehow. I gotta go back and set things right." He starts to walk through the snow, and he eventually steps on a frozen Xigbar.

"Xigbar!" He looks up and sees Xigbar is pinned by the pillar. He tugs to try and free Xigbar. He can't do it, so he begins to remove snow from the base of the pillar. "Dem, start digging! That's it!" Finally, enough snow has been removed, and the pillar begins to roll. Roxas runs away, looks back, then slides into place. The pillar rolls over him, and when it is gone, Roxas and Dem are left sitting in the patch of snow made by the window of the pillar.

"Yeah! All right!" He looks up at his turban, made out of scared Dem. Xigbar shakes off the snow and rushes over to pick them up. "Now, back to Castle Oblivion! Let's go!"

_!i!i!i!_

Back at Castle Oblivion it is shrouded in red clouds.

In the throne room. Ansem has Vexen tied up like a marionette, and Xion is chained next to the throne.

"Puppet ruler want a cracker? Here's your cracker." Ansem said. "Shove 'em all right down your throat. Here, have lots!"

Vanitas pulls the chain, and Xion walks up to him holding an apple.

"Leave him alone!" Xion snapped. Ansem stops for a second, then continues.

"It pains me to see you reduced to this, Xion." Vanitas said as he takes a bite out of the apple she is holding. "A beautiful desert bloom such as yourself should be on the arm of the most powerful man in the world." He waves his finger and a crown appears. "What do you say, my dear? Why, with you as my queen... " She picks up a glass of wine and throws it in his face.

"Never!" She growled.

"I'll teach you some respect!" She falls back as he raises his hand to slap her. Then he stops. "No. Genie, I have decided to make my final wish. I wish for Princess Xion to fall desperately in love with me." Roxas is racing back into town.

Again as Buckley, Axel says. "Ah, master- there are a few addendas, some quid pro quo-"

"Don't talk back to me, you stupid red lout! You will do what I order you to do, slave!" Vanitas yells. Xion looks up and sees Roxas in the window, motioning her to play along.

She stands and puts the crown on her head. "Vanitas! I never realized how incredibly handsome you are." As she said this Axel's jaw drops.

"That's better." Vanitas said as he pulls the Axel's jaw up like a shade. "Now, pussycat, tell me more about...myself."

"You're tall, well dressed..." Vanitas walks over to her. Roxas jumps down with Dem and Axel sees them.

"Roxas! Rox, little buddy!"

"Shh!" Roxas said. Literally zips his mouth shut, then unzips it.

"Rox, I can't help you-I work for senor psychopath, now." His head turns into Vanitas', then back.

"Hey-I'm a street rat, remember?" He rezips Axel's mouth. "I'll improvise." He slides down a pile of coins and hides close to Vanitas and Xion. Vanitas' back is to Roxas.

"Go on." Vanitas said.

"Your mind...is so...twisted!" She has her arms around him. She pretends to twist with her finger, but she is actually motioning for Roxas to come over. He makes his move. Ansem sees him.)

"Van-mmmmmm!" Dem grabs him and covers his mouth.

"And the street rat?"

"What street rat?"

They are about to kiss when Ansem manages to knock over a bowl. Vanitas turns to look, but Xion grabs him back and kisses him. Roxas looks disgusted. Ansem and Dem both look disgusted.

"Yuck!" Dem said.

"That was—" Vanitas starts but he sees Roxas' reflection in her crown. "You! How many times do I have to kill you, boy?" He zaps Roxas. Xion rushes him, and he throws her to the ground. Roxas rushes and grabs the staff.

"Get the lamp!" Roxas yelled.

Xion runs to it. Vanitas, however, shakes off Roxas, then zaps her into an hourglass.

"Ah, ah, ah, princess-Your time is up!" Sand begins to fall from the top onto her.

"Xion!"

"Oh, nice shot, Van—" he is knocked out by Dem. Dem rushes for the lamp.

"Don't toy with me!" Vanitas said as he zapped Dem into a toy monkey.

"Dem!"

Xigbar rushes in.

"Things are unraveling fast, now boy." Xigbar is zapped and unravels. Roxas again rushes for the lamp. "Get the point?" His path is blocked by large swords sticking in the floor. Vanitas grabs the lamp and laughs hideously. Roxas pulls a sword out of the floor. "I'm just getting warmed up!" He breathes a ring of fire around Roxas.

"Are you afraid to fight me yourself, you cowardly snake?" Roxas questioned.

"A snake, am I? Perhaps you'd like to see how snake-like I can be!" Vanitas said as he smiles broadly, and a snake's tongue come out from behind his teeth. He then turns into a giant cobra, and the ring of fire around Roxas becomes part of the snake encircling Roxas. The snake Vanitas makes moves on Roxas, and on the third try, Roxas swings the sword and hits Vanitas.

Axel cheerleaders wearing 'R' sweaters say. "Rickem, rockem, rackem, rake-stick that sword into that snake!"

"You stay out of thissss!" Vanitas hissed.

Axel is now waving a tiny pennant with a 'V' on it and says "Vanitas, Vanitas, he's our man-if he can't do it, GREAT!" Weakly.

Roxas uses the distraction to make a break for the hourglass where Xion is trapped. However, Vanitas sees this and blocks the path. Roxas is thrown away, and he loses his sword.

"Roxas!" Xion screamed.

Roxas jumps on a large gem and slides across the floor, grabbing the sword on his way. He turns a corner, but the pursuing snake cannot, and the front half of Vanitas crashes through a wall and hangs outside the palace. Roxas jumps up on the snake's back and stabs it. Vanitas screams in agony. Roxas again tries to free the princess.

"Hang on, Xion!" Roxas said.

He is about to hit the glass with his sword when Vanitas grabs him.

He laughs hideously and says. "You little fool! You thought you could defeat the most powerful being on earth!"

"Squeeze him," Ansem said as Axel comes up behind him. "Vanitas-Squeeze him like a-awk!" Axel elbows him out of the way.

"Without the genie, boy, you're nothing!"

Roxas then gets and Idea and says. "The genie! The genie! The genie has more power than you'll ever have!"

"What!"

"He gave you your power, he can take it away!"

"Rox, what are you doing? Why are you bringing me into this?"

"Face it, Vanitas-you're still just second best!"

"You're right! His power does exceed my own! But not for long!"

Vanitas circles around Axel.

"The boy is crazy. He's a little punch drunk. One too many hits with the snake." Axel said as his hand turns into a snake and he hits his head with it.

"Slave, I make my third wish! I wish to be an all-powerful genie!"

"All right, your wish is my command. Way to go, Rox." Axel said reluctantly.

Axel zaps Vanitas with the last lightning bolt. Vanitas' snake form dissipates and he turns into a genie. Xion's raised hand disappear under the sand. Roxas runs over and finally smashes the glass. Sand and princess pour out.

"Yes! Yes! The power! The absolute power!" Vanitas laughed.

"What have you done?" Xion said to Roxas.

"Trust me!" A black lamp appears at Vanitas' base. Vanitas is busy conjuring.

"The universe is mine to command, to control!" Vanitas said.

"Not so fast, Vanitas! Aren't you forgetting something?" Vanitas looks down questioningly. "You wanted to be a genie, you got it! And everything that goes with it!" Shackles appear on Vanitas' wrists.

"No! No!"

"I'm gettin' out of here! Come on, you're the genie, I don't want—" Ansem says as he tries to fly away, but is sucked in with Vanitas.

"Phenomenal cosmic powers! Itty bitty living space." Roxas said.

"Rox, you little genius, you!" Axel said.

Dem turns back to normal, Xigbar re-ravels, Xion, Vexen and Saix are standing together. Saix jumps up into the arms of Vexen, then they are all transformed. Vexen is crushed because of the weight of the new Saix. The palace reappears where it used to be in the city. Roxas is left holding the new lamp.

"Get your blasted beak out of my face!" Vanitas yelled at Ansem from inside the lamp.

"Oh, shut up, you moron!" Ansem yelled.

"Don't tell me to shut up!"

"Allow me." Axel said as he takes the lamp and goes to the balcony. He is now wearing a baseball cap. He winds up as if to throw the lamp, but opens his palm flat and flicks it out into the desert with his finger. "Ten- thousand years in a cave of wonders ought to chill him out!"

Xion walks over to Roxas. They hold hands, but both look sad.

"Xion, I'm sorry I lied to you about being a prince."

"I know why you did."

"Well, I guess...this... is goodbye?" Axel pokes his head around the corner shocked at what he is hearing.

"Oh, that stupid law. This isn't fair-I love you."

"Rox, no problem. You've still got one wish left. Just say the word and you're a prince again." Axel said as he wiped a tear away.

"But Genie, what about your freedom?"

"Hey, it's only an eternity of servitude. This is love." He leans down next to her. "Roxas, you're not gonna find another girl like her in a million years. Believe me, I know. I've looked."

"Xion, I do love you, but I've got to stop pretending to be something I'm not."

"I understand." Xion said.

They take one final look into each other's eyes, then Roxas turns to Axel.

"Axel, I wish for your freedom."

"One bona fide prince pedigree coming up. I-what?"

"Axel, you're free!" Roxas said as he holds up the lamp to Axel.

A transformation scene ensues, in which the shackles fall off Axel's wrist and the lamp falls uselessly to the ground. Axel picks it up and looks at it.

"Heh, heh! I'm free. I'm free." He hands the lamp to Roxas. "Quick, quick, wish for something outrageous. Say "I want the Nile." Wish for the Nile. Try that!"

"I wish for the Nile."

"No way!" He laughs hysterically. He bounces around the balcony like a pinball. "Oh does that feel good! I'm free! I'm free at last! I'm hittin' the road. I'm off to see the world! I—" He is packing a suitcase, but looks down and sees Roxas looking very sad.

"Axel, I'm-I'm gonna miss you."

"Me too, Rox. No matter what anybody says, you'll always be a prince to me." They hug. Vexen steps forward.

"That's right. You've certainly proven your worth as far as I'm concerned. It's that law that's the problem." Vexen says.

"Father?" Xion asked.

"Well, am I sultan or am I sultan? From this day forth, the princess shall marry whomever she deems worthy."

Xion smiles widely and runs into Roxas' arms. "Him! I choose...I choose you, Roxas."

"Ha, ha. Call me Rox."

They are about to kiss when giant red hands pull everybody together. Axel is decked out in a Hawaiian shirt with golf clubs and a Goofy hat. "Oh, all of ya. Come over here. Big group hug! Mind if I kiss the monkey?" He kisses Dem. "Ooh, hairball! Well, I can't do any more damage around this popsicle stand. I'm outta here! Bye, bye, you two crazy lovebirds. Hey, Rugman: ciao! I'm history! No, I'm mythology! No, I don't care what I am-I'm free!"

Axel flies up into the blue sky leaving a trail of sparkles behind him. Fireworks exploding over a nightscape. We tilt down and see Roxas and Xion flying on Xigbar.

"_A whole new world_"

"**A whole new life**"

"For you and me!"

"A whole new world!"

_**The End**_


End file.
